Football's 5 Notables

Normally, Francis and I would Top 5 on the same topic, however, this particular weekend provided some material I needed to comment on:

1. Ties?? God Bless Donovan McNabb. Since his career began, he has provided me with multiple opportunities to comment on what a waste he is as a leader of a franchise. First there was his inability to keep his supper down during the key drive in the Super Bowl, then there was the time he pushed the only legitimate receiver he's ever had out of town, and my personal favorite- after an ass whooping was laid down on the Igles by my beloved Redskins earlier this year, McNabb explained that even though they had just been dominated up and down the football field, the Igles were still a better team. BUT, all of these pale in comparison to Donovan's post-game press conference yesterday. Apparently Donovan, who has been in the league for 10 years now, was unaware that NFL games can end in ties. http://ballhype.com/video/donovan_mcnabb_didn_t_know_nfl_games_ended_in_ties/ Maybe before players sign contracts they should have to pass an NFL citizenship test that consists of 50 questions any Tom, Dick or Harry who watches games on Sunday with a sixer of the Banquet Beer would know. If you dont get 40 out of 50 correct, you fail. You can only take the test once per year. Until you pass, you are only allowed to make the league minimum and you have to wear a scarlet F on your jersey so everyone knows that you were a waste of a draft pick.

2. A.B. for MVP- Since I always wanna shoot it straight, I will admit, Anquan Boldin is on two of my fantasy football teams. And each week he tends to carry me to victory. However, this has nothing to do with my feeling that Anquan Boldin should be the MVP of the NFL. For those of you who didn't see it, this guy got "JACKED UP!!!" in a game against the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWDA67sdfPg&feature=related He missed two games because of the hit, yet he is still 6th in the league in receptions with 62, 7th in yards with 792, 1st in yards per game with 99 and 1st in the league in TD catches with 10, a full 3 TD catches ahead of Calvin Johnson. The guy also lines up in the Wildcat formation to run the football and he can throw the rock too. Arizona . . . let that sink in . . . ARIZONA is in first place in their division and are poised to host a home playoff game. Like I said at the top, A.B. for MVP.

3. Tuna's Fish- Bill Parcells has coached four of my most hated teams- the New York Football Giants, the Foxborough Patriots, the Jets, and Lucipher's Spawns. And yet, I not only respect the man, I think he may be the best football mind in the NFL. Parcells once famously said, "If you want me to cook the dinner, you ought to let me shop for some of the groceries." In his new role as Executive VP of the Dolphins, he has done just that, making shrewd moves and quietly resurrecting the 2007 season's worst team. The 'Fins are one last second Matt Schaub TD scramble from being 7-3, they are one game back in the AFC East, and are on the cusp of an AFC Wild Card berth. All of this after trading his best player Jason Taylor, shunning the popular first pick Matt Ryan for bookend left tackle Jake Long, and reuniting with his former first-round draft pick- Jets' throwaway Chad Pennington. If only Daniel Snyder had fired his racquetball buddy Vinny Cerrato and hired Tuna, maybe I would feel better about the state of the Redskins organization. One last thing, I also love the Tuna for his Quarterback Commandments and I think anyone who ever played/plays under center should hear this at least once: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMfXkMX0J-w

4. We are the Titans . . . the mighty, mighty Titans: Francis alluded to Julius Campbell and the T.C. Williams Titans in his 5, but I wanna talk about the Titans from the capitol of country music. Jeff Fisher's bunch is still perfect after Week 11. What's scary? A team once stabilized by its relentless defense has now found a vertical passing game to compliment their thunder and lighting running game. The 2008 Titans look eerily similar to the World Champion 2000 Baltimore Ravens; a team led by a suffocating D, a solid running game, and a veteran quarterback who manages the game and limits turnovers. The quarterback the Ravens flustered in their Super Bowl victory? A young gunslinger by the name of Kerry Collins. Now sans-alcohol and leading the mighty Titans, Collins hopes to be on the winning side when this year's Lombardi Trophy is awarded.

5. The Zorn Identity??: After a 4-1 start and road victories in the Illadel and Big D, it seemed a Redskins offense that had been plagued for years by a severe case of anemia had finally found a cure. Mixing punishing runs with short, quick passes and the occasional vertical strike, the Gibbs Coast Offense looked as though its ceiling was high. But after putting up only 17, 14 and 17 against the lowly Rams, Browns and Lions respectively, the Skins offense laid two absolute eggs on national television against the Stillers and Lucipher's aforementioned Spawns. With no pass protection, a lack of a 2nd option at WR, and a banged up Clinton Portis, how far can this team that seemed playoff-bound 3 weeks ago climb? Right now, that answer is as allusive as a Redskins offensive touchdown.