An Alternate Take

Francis loves to take jabs at my taste in chicks; however, unlike myself, Francis has no problem bullshitting the reading public into believing he has flawless, elite taste in hot chicks. (which he would like you to believe means the chick must at least have C-tities) Like I have said before, I'm gonna shoot from the hip- no bullshit. For example, my favorite day of the week is Monday. Not because of Monday Night Football, or Big Monday on ESPN, but because at 8 pm on CW I get to watch the greatest show on television- Gossip Girl. For those of you who are judging, you have obviously never watched this gift from the small screen. So, if Francis was shooting from the hip, his Top 5 would HAVE to include at least one frumpy, pear-shaped, smalled-lunged star, i.e. Melissa Joan-Hart or Amanda Bynes. A Top 5 with his name attached to it, lacking one of these ladies or one of physical similarity, is truly a farce; because, whenever one of their movies appears on his digital cable guide, that sumbitch can't find the OK button quick enough. Also, I believe the reading public will completely agree, Rachel Glandorf (Colt McCoy's girlfriend) is F'n hot.
(she's on the left)

5. Christina Aguilera

Pittsburgh's finest has been on my list since high school. She even looked hot pregnant. Not to mention, I would love to see all of her 14 piercings.

4. Megan Fox

She is my prediction to be this year's Queen of the Hardwood in Seattle's Bigger Dance competition. Francis mentions that she was one of David Silver's girlfriends, but, she won't be the last of David's conquests on my list. And like Francis said, did you see the car scene in Transformers?????

3. Tiffani Amber-Thiessen

I mean, come on, it's Kelly Kapowski!!! Yet another of David Silver's girlfriends, but as much of a tool as I think he is, that sumbitch consistently slams ripping hot chicks. If she doesn't make a cameo on the 00's version of 90210, I am gonna be really disappointed.

2. Stacy Keibler

Have you seen her??? God bless America!!!! First off, she's got 42-inch legs from hip to ankle. Second, she's from Balmur and went to a CAA school. Third, any chick this ripping hot who can do a hurricanrana off the top rope to claim the WWF's Women's World Championship belt gets me from six to midnight.

1. Marisa Miller

Come on . . .